I CAN!!

So after my disastrous trip out with both boys oh so many months ago, (remember the one with walmart, the lost ID, grocery shopping and coming home, 6 hrs later, falling asleep before putting all the food away.) I have not ventured out much with both boys by myself, well actually I never did in Hawaii again, it gave me anxiety to me honestly. But since our time here at the hotel I have begun to do it more and more. And I am learning that I CAN do it. It helps tremendously that Noah is alot older, and can sit in the cart at the stores. And that Isaac amazing has grown up some. Like the other day we walked to the store and he walked and LISTENED!! WOW!! I whole new Isaac. So today I took both kids to the grocery store all by myself. It was actually kinda funny since I got one of those carts that are a rocket, Isaac was so excited that he got to steer, but was not excited that Noah was excited to sit next to him. All I heard the entire time, "Mama, NOAH!!" Noah was touching him, leaning on him and even took his apple. (Isaac had picked up as we were in the produce area, without my knowledge, and tried to eat.) But the thing that helps the most, not having an hour roundtrip drive to the store. It was so nice to feed Noah before we went, get Isaac a snack, and a drink and be on our way. I was able to get all the shopping done without needing to stop to feed Noah. Which was always the hardest part to be honest. Isaac always wants/needs something when I am feeding Noah, then everyone starts crying, and I start feeling the anxiety creep in. (Crying is so hard for me, I feel like I am failing at being a Mom). See the thing is after that frightful day oh so long ago, John did all the shopping for the house. And as we were preparing to leave Hawaii, I would tell some people that I was terrified from John to go to school in Mississippi next month, cause guaranteed I would need to do some shopping in the 25 days that he is gone. But now I have a renewed confidences that I CAN do this. I CAN take both kids to the store and be successful!! This post might seem silly to some of you that have like 500 kids, and do it all the time. But today as I returned from my confidence boosting grocery shopping trip I began to wonder what else I put on hold for fear of failing or feel as if I failed. So I decided that I am going to reevaluate what my goals are and where I am going and doing with my life. Because I now know I CAN do anything...ok maybe not everything yet, but I know I can move forward with life at this time because I CAN and so can you!!